If you agreed with the article title, you should study more. Also, brace yourselves; I’m back from Alaska and ready to preach to you about fashion after living in an abandoned bus all summer a la Chris McCandless. Obviously, I’m on top of my game. The most fashionable I got all summer was taking my clothes to a laundromat.
So, here’s the thing: burnt colors are in. So, take all your favorite pieces and butane torch them. Wrong, however, burnt colors, such as hues with names like “squash” or really anything on the orange color spectrum that falls short of fluorescent, are all the rage. Even if you blow it and go fluorescent, no worries. Fluorescent is in too, proving that sometimes life is just beautiful. Like Lisa Frank beautiful. I personally love to look like a box of highlighters in my interactions with the world. As soon as the cold weather gets here, I’m rocking the eyesore yellow shades in winter wear… And you thought highlighters were for textbooks?
Also, ladies, Eastern fashion is in. Sweet prints and great accessories has helped fashion heads deem this style as highly fashionable. Apart from those, so have stuffed animals and other assortments of whimsical items, like Mao. More fantastic Asian fashion attributes? Silky pieces are a yes. Flowing pieces are a yes, but with caution! Flowing, tent-like fabrics have a tendency to make the wearer look… like a circus, if you will. Not in the Britney Spears way, but in the elephant defecation way. So, how do we conquer this problem? Cinch in your waist with a wide belt or try to find outfits that have a more fitted or structured top to balance out the flowing bottom.
Bell bottoms are back in, and just so you know, these don’t flatter everyone’s figure. In fact, bell bottoms tend to make the wearer look heavier because it pinches in around the thighs and knees and then explodes below, making the body appear disproportionate.
Every decade (except maybe the eighties) are in. Fifties to the future: it’s all coming up in Fashion Week. We will see a lot of beehives as well as a lot of retro cutout backs and color blocking. If you find something that looks like it’s from another time you should probably put it on. I advocate shopping in thrift stores and secondhand shops for the truly awesome finds. Think unicorns. Also don’t be afraid to throw elbows if you see a grandma going for your target. They can take it. Just don’t aim for hips.
I know I’m treading on dangerous territory, but I’ll let you in on the secret, plunging necklines are in. STOP! Looking like a “ho” is never in. So before you pull out the Wal-Mart special, contemplate instead how a plunging neckline can be made classy. The type of plunge that is in is not a scoop neck, instead it is an all out hardcore “V” down the sternum. The dangers of this neckline are the obvious: boobage and gaping fabric are not your friends.
The best way to wear a plunging neckline is to first make sure the clothes fits well enough that you aren’t giving away your goodies when you bend over. Better idea, if you wear a plunging neckline, just don’t bend over. Plunging necklines are not generally an everyday looks so make sure you try to wear camisoles under the majority of revealing pieces. (This also makes it easier to wear a bra with the piece.) One way to play up the plunge without looking like a harlot is to wear accessories that accentuate that neckline such as long necklaces or a scarf.
The one point I can never seem to stress enough is find what looks good on your body type. This is not your friend’s body type or a model body type. This body type is you. So, go out there and attack it, and stay tuned for my next column. It’s more important than life.
Contact Ellie Bryant at firstname.lastname@example.org with any questions or comments.